Road Kill Rules
Here is a complete listing of all the "Road Kill Rules". It's a loose collection of quotes, comments and information that help guide the Road Kill experience.
If
If you paid for that you probably paid too much!
Sarcastic remark usually meant for haircuts, but also applied to over-priced drinks on RAGBRAI
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You only go around once in life. You might as well go around drunk.
Nobody Leaves...
Nobody leaves until everyone has had enough and only you know if you've had enough; but a officer of the law can assist you in your decision.
Free!
If it's free, always take two.
Some small town in Iowa, one day in July...
Sunglasses
If you have lost your sunglasses, check the last place you puked.
Credited to Marcie on RAGBRAI
Children
Unattended Children WILL be sold as slaves.
Road Kill Bus Notice
Mean and Nice
Mean People Suck! Nice People Lick!
Road Kill Bus Bumber Sticker
The Future
When I see an adult on a bicycle, I do not despair for the future of the human race.
Einstein
Life is like riding a bicycle. To keep your balance you must keep moving.
Hemingway
"It is by riding a bicycle that you learn the contours of a country best, since you have to sweat up the hills and coast down them. Thus you remember them as they actually are, while in a motor car only a high hill impresses you, and you have no such accurate remembrance of country you have driven through as you gain by riding a bicycle."
Sex
"Bicycle riding as little as three miles a day will improve your sex life."
Bikes and Husbands
The bicycle is just as good company as most husbands and, when it gets old and shabby, a woman can dispose of it and get a new one without shocking the entire community.
Minneapolis Tribune in 1895
Why
Q: Why couldn't the bicycle stand up on its own?
A: It was two tired.
12 Inches
I know what 12 inches is!
Taken completely out of context at the Eagles Club on a Road Kill Social event in 2007.
Bearing Packing
Do you need your bearings packed?
Just one of many quips from Jim Bizal's IronJim party. (I didn't need my bearings packed, but I hope Tiger found someone who did.)
Look Up!
If constellations had been named in the 20th century, I suppose we would see bicycles.
Numb Genitals
Numb genitals take away the fun of riding with friends
2007 ad for Descente bike shorts
Lights Please!
Did you know that one cyclist a day is killed in this country after dark? Nearly 50 percent of bicyclist fatalities occur after dark even though only 10% of riding takes place after dark.
University of Minnesota Health Services Website
Pork Chop
There's a pork chop in every glass!
Another 'palmism' - this one dismissing the need to eat while imbibing.
I'd Rather
“I’d rather have a confusing morning than a boring evening"
RAGBRAI 2007
Don't Leave
“If you’re having fun, don’t leave”
Another well known Team Road Kill fact
Without You
“I wouldn’t smoke without you - unless you weren’t around”
Straight
“You got to keep your head on straight to play ‘fuck you’”
referring to the much played bus card game called "Fuck You"
Outside the Lines
“It’s the people in the back of the pack who color outside the lines”
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